The pursuit of perfection

If you’ve not seen this transformation, then I suggest check this out ( its on utube) and forward it to everyone !

adobe photoshop from fat woman to thin woman

This brought up a lot of “stuff’ for me. Firstly I thought wow – isn’t it amazing what photoshop can do, the second how many hits this has gotten ( nearly 5 thousand) and the lack of comments made – only 3!!!. In particular the comment on how much better she looked after the ‘work’. Begs the question – she is a beautiful girl to start with... watch it – it is amazing.... - appreciate it for the talent this person has with photoshop and then get angry at society for demanding perfection.

How much of the photos and images we are being fed by the media have been doctored this much? I’d have to hazard a guess that most if not all of them are. How pitiful a society do we live in that we hold such perfection up as our model. What is the fascination of perfection and why are we all beating each other up when none of us are?

The next issue for me was thinking about the lass who modeled for it. I wonder how she is feeling seeing the transformation. Wondering if she could actually ever look like this. As a larger than life person myself, I often wonder what I would look like .. you know.. thinner. I have never been a small person having been ridiculed and teased all of my life for being different, bigger, fat, ugly etc.. Still, my character has grown and strengthened ( good old character building) and one wonders if thinner people get that sort of opportunity. My thoughts probably are that everyone is insecure – thinking the rest of the world is adjusted and fine. Women especially are constantly striving to be perfect – to be thinner, to be tanner, blonder, have longer hair, smoother skin.. whatever.

I went past a cosmetics stand the other day and the sales person caught me at a weak moment and began to ask me what I wanted to change about my skin – as if I believed I had problems. I actually have smooth supple skin and can get away with hanging with younger gals as I don’t look my age. I love the skin I am in! Sure, I’d love to be less ample. But the fantasy of what being thin has dominated my life for nearly 25 years and I have come to terms that its just not going to happen. I have starved myself , taken drugs ( both prescriptive and non) , lived on alcohol, self hatred and denial.

I used to believe that if I changed that simple little thing like my weight that I would suddenly have a golden key into a society of freedom, of acceptance and I would suddenly be a new person – some sort of Bond girl. I know too that being fat is a great excuse for NOT doing anything exciting. It’s a great excuse to just say why bother – I am never going to be skinny – so I can’t ( insert the next bit…. Get that Job, have a boyfriend, go on that exciting trip, have friends… etc etc..)

Until one day I realized that being bigger shouldn’t stop you from doing all the things you have said you were going to do when you ‘get thin’ – you know – wearing a pair of togs, ask that guy out, buy a beautiful dress, join a dance class, having a great relationship, being seen as sexy – no matter what your dress size… you can do them right now, the only person stopping you is YOU. And as it has been said many times before , life isn’t a rehearsal – you get one shot at it ( well this time in this body) and its passing us all by. We have either got to get on that racing car and drive it – or get in the boot and let someonelse take control.. Me – I hate being a passenger – much less being shoved into the boot ( or trunk) and left there to rot….

So move over, my little purple sports car and I are doing some laps.. wanna join me?

An open Letter to Dr Laura

Someone sent me this in an email after reading my first post here. Who knows if its true or not but its amusing none the less. It does bring up the thought though - religion and its dogman needs to move with the times, needs and requirements of societys advances. I am not picking on Christianity in anyway as I am sure that other religions have similar scriptures or readings which are a little out of touch with what is happening in the civilization it is struggling to exist with. I do think too that the reason many structured religions are seeing numbers drop in thier congrations, groups and gatherings is that it is losing relevance with the people it is trying to involve....

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.
Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Did God punish women with painful childbirth?

Whether you recognize it or not, Christian faith and the bible underpins Western culture. It has affected our codes of justice, work ethic, sense of charity and the beliefs and misunderstandings surrounding sex, relationships and childbirth. Fear, pain and guilt have tended to be defining characteristics; and this is not reserved only for the religious. In now way am I diminishing the message of love, acceptance and charity the Bible also supports. However, I’d like to focus on the disempowering Christian belief that according to the Bible, God punishes women with physical agony in childbirth for Eve’s sin in the Garden of Eden, and how this belief is closely intertwined with current medical practice and our society’s acceptance of painful child birth.


The Bible clearly teaches that giving birth is a blessing to women and in a number of places strongly upholds the role of motherhood and women in general. The scriptures do not degrade womanhood nor does not label child bearing as a curse. As with many misunderstandings arising from the Bible, it is the interpretation and the translation which must be looked at more deeply. Genesis 3:16 is the passage commonly quoted by those who believe women have been "cursed to give birth in pain". ( it outlines Eves punishment for having eaten of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.) From a number of translations of that passage and in particular - the Hebrew word is translated as "pain" for the woman and "toil" for the man, it is clear that the translator's cultural beliefs have biased his judgment as a scholar of the text. The best description of giving birth is toil, or labor. From research, the so-called "curse of Eve", cannot be traced to the Scriptures or to early Judaism. It is first found in distorted Christian teachings of the third and fourth centuries A.D. Christian teachings which also upheld that abstinence, even in marriage, was the way to salvation. Thus the beginnings of the beliefs around sex being bad or dirty, sinful or unclean – even in marriage. God’s intent in Genesis 3 also needs to be reconsidered. Even as God confronted Eve, he immediately promised a Savior to come through her descendants. Simplifying it to the commandment of punishment misses the passages insights. Other scriptures show a loving God, who is concerned for the good of the all humankind, disobedient or otherwise.
We as a society ( western one at least) have ignored many natural birthing practices embraced by so called primitive or sheltered civilizations. Pain during child birth was actually a rare occurrence in our ancient ancestry. In religious fervor midwives, or wise women, were burned at the stake and falsely accused of witchcraft throughout Europe, especially if they administered any form of pain relief. Women were told that it was Gods Will that they suffer during birthing as penance for Eves sin.
Pain and death was not strongly associated with childbirth until the 16th and 17th century when people began to flock to the cities during the industrial revolution. The masses of people no longer lived from the toil of the land, but worked in cottage industries or factories and used coin to trade for food, goods and services.
With cities growing, the need for formalized medical support outside monasteries, gave rise to small hospitals which due to lack of understanding of hygiene were a hot bed of disease. No longer were people able to access a local herbalist or healer as they had done in the past. The epidemics of child bed fever as women began delivering in the "houses of charity" created unhealthy conditions for our great great grandmothers to birth in.

Anesthesia was withheld from laboring women until the mid-nineteenth century so as not to interfere with God’s “punishment.” In that environment, childbirth was indeed an event which terrified women. This terror was compounded by climbing rates of death from post-partum infection through physicians who did not understand the need for sanitation and hygiene. There have been reports of clergymen who refused to baptize babys whose mothers asked for pain relief during labor. Given the strong social status the church held in most western societies at this time, to deny a person baptism was to shun them for their life, depleting their prospects in jobs, work and a future family life.
Many women chose to birth their children at home as little as 50 years ago as hospitals were still seen as places for the chronically ill or injured to go to. Childbirth became a big business in the time of the baby boomers and whole industries birthed at the same time.
Medical advances and discoveries with hygiene and sanitation have made hospitals a safer environment for patients. With the migration of the population and de centralization of family units, the medical system stepped in as surrogate support for birthing. Family wisdom and caring was often no longer available due to distance, so women chose to go to hospital to birth and began to give their choices and options away. Birthing became a medical condition and treated as an illness; one to be medicated and eased with pain killers or by passed with surgery. Society accepted through the last few centuries that childbirth was painful and the ‘secret’ womens groups who whisper and hide facts from the uninitiated ( non mothers) only add fuel to this belief. There seems to be a one ups (wom)manship on how much pain was endured, or of how long labor went on within these circle and cynical vultures ready to swoop down on a newly pregnant women to tell tales of gory and pain. With something as strong and embedded as this belief, it is difficult to turn the tide backed up by society, pharmaceuticals and the medical practice.
Being a mother is much more than just a physical act of birthing. The bonding with a baby is a fundamental part of living and if anesthetized, this bond may be impared. I don't believe God made childbirth painful - a loving God as described in the Bible and by Christians, would never wish to punish every woman for all time..again, keeping in mind that the men who decrypted the scriptures had to make many assumptions (ill matched knowledge of many things for example a celibate monk who has been in a monastery all his life would have little real knowledge about women's anatomy...when translating the punishment of Eve and of birthing) Thankfully there are many women who are wanting to reconnect with the old wisdom, to reject C sections as a run of the mill procedure ( don't get me wrong - I am GLAD we have medical intervention and the OPTION of having assistance.. I am distressed at the blase approach so many women approach birthing and never consider doing anything except having a C section..). The physical pain and birth process of a conscious woman certainly is to be respected, and to seek to relieve that pain is a natural thing to want to do. I'd love to see more informed choices for women - rather than what suits the Ob and for women to reconnect with her true nature, rather than accept what is offered on a medical script.